More Referrals = More Emotions

Our program received 4 girl referrals this month! That means we move up 4 more places on the list! We think we are now number 5 or 6 although we can't be entirely sure. People who have adopted internationally know all about the feelings that accompany this process, but for those who have not let me tell you, it is quite the emotional roller coaster. I am filled with excitement and relief when new referrals arrive but a little disappointed that there are not MORE. And yet, it's odd to have those feelings too knowing that every referral means there is another baby born into the world who is unable to remain with their birth family and culture. What a profound loss for these innocents and their families. I think about our baby and her mother, who is surely very pregnant by now, or perhaps has even given birth. It makes me feel very sad. And still I can't wait to meet our daughter. More than anything, I sincerely hope I have the opportunity to meet with and talk to our daughter's birth mother, as often happens in adoptions from Taiwan. I already have a list of questions to ask her on behalf of our daughter (hers and mine) but mostly I want to try to impart as best I can despite cultural and language barriers that we are a loving family who want to give this child the best life possible. I want her to be able to look into my eyes and know that this child will be cherished and well cared for. I hope I have that chance.